The idea of using an instrument for showing the close relation of failure and beauty was the thought of the beauty when kids start learning an instruments and their parents adoring every wrong note. They see the beauty in their failing cause they see the passion and of course cause they love their kid.
In Version 1, I gave all of them the same music piece.
I wanted everybody to start from the same starting point, but since they all had different states, in playing their instruments I had to treat them differently.
Mirjam got 5 min. time to practice the piece. Since she has experiences in playing the piano but not the music piece yet.
Sarah didn´t get anytime before, since she is an excellent chello player and since new the music piece allready.
Mareike got a little basic course in how to play the guitar, since she haven´t played it before.And than she got four chords she had to play. So she had the hardest time.
I wanted to not preduce the failure.For that I had to give everybody the chance to get good in the music piece, otherwise the failure would have been fake.The more they practice the more they put themselves into it and the more their failure became honest.
This is what came out of it:
After the first try I noticed that Mareikes situation was the most produced/ fake, since it was clear from the beginning on that she will fail, cause she never played the guitar before.
So we didn´t really had clear conditions of showing real failure.
Also a result of that first try is, that it has to be a much harder music piece and more time for excersing the piece for each of them.
In version 2, I gave each of them a different music piece according to their level in playing their instrument. Cause I wanted to achieve a more fair level where everybody has a perspective to be good in it.
That is what came out of it:
Well, the result of the second version is clearly that it doesn´t work so well.
Since the sound was so bad and wrong anyways cause of the different non matching music pieces, the failure of the individuum didn´t show. Which was the initial thought.
After the second try I decided that for the good of having more equal conditions for everyone I want Mareike to play an instrument in which see has more experience or which she things she could learn in a few weeks.
We decided on the cachon. (drums)
After the instrumental part I asked everybody to answer two questions, which asked about their feelings while failing.
Questions:
1. What does it mean for you to faile and how did it feel?
2. How does it feel like, to reach for the perfect state or result?
_______________________________
Conclusions of the answers the three dancers gave:
1.
- it feels like beeing exposed
- loosing my own face
- becoming honest
- becoming human
- hatred
- empty
- angry with themselves
- trying to give reasons of failure, explanations
- unsatisfaction
- figure out the reason of failure and try to go notional through the correct accomplishment of the action they failed in
- naked and unsecure
- giving up
2.
- pressure
- like in a cage, captured, caught
- not free
- it can never be achieved
- serving something which is not worthy the whole attention
- good cause it gives a goal
- makes alive
- the perfection for me is more to accept the unperfection in me and life itself
For the next rehershals I gave everybody the same music piece, which was new and harder to each of them and the task to practice that piece a lot till next time we´ll meet. I want them to put lots of effort in it and really try to get good.
But they just have a week and the music piece is freaking hard:-)
But still all of them had the chance of beeing able to play the piece well, which was important to me. I didn´t wanted them to have the feeling from beginning on that they will fail eventually
In the next rehershals I will record each of them with a proffessional recorder. Just to have a better idea of how it sounds and if it ends up to be useful.
I could imagine to use that music piece in which failure would be thematized for a dancing part in that piece.
I also came to the conclusion that it is really hard to actually produce honest failure. Cause of the fact that you can´t produce honest passion. I am sure everybody can fail in something without having any passion for that thing. Failing in something we don´t liked doing anyways is not the hard part of failure, but the failure in a thing we´re passionated in is what I am interested in. The failure which is breaking all of peoples security, boast and ego.
The third rehearsal was pretty helpfull for the idea of how to continue.
Meanwhile I was working choreographically on to dance sequences.
- the failure sequence
- the borring "perfect" sequence
I decided on having a sequence which is so hard that they end up failing in the demonstration.
It will be a piece which is technically hard and not rehershed till the final achievment.
Another opportunity I was thinking of how to make them fail on stage, is to let them learn a sequence which is written out on a piece of paper and which they have to learn by heart but not dance it out until they get on stag for the first time.
With the second sequence I wanted to demonstrate the boredom of the nice, up, non risky, "perfect" dance. Though I don´t know if I this is necessary to carry the piece where I want it to go. I think I could also achieve that message differently.
So the shedule for next rehershals will also include the teaching of the "failure sequence".
